thinkin'

We have all established the simple fact that I am a borderline weirdo, right?  Okay, forget the borderline.....I'm weird.  I know - you know it.

Good, now that we got that clarified.......

Let me start off by saying just how grateful I am to all of you who read this, who support us and who care about what is going on with the adoption process of lil' Maggie.  You have been amazing!  As you have heard me say a bazillion times - there are truly no words, I break down in tears more than I care to admit because of what you all have meant to us throughout this adoption process.

Now our real journey begins, life as a family of five.  I will continue to document some portion of our lives here and I hope that you find pleasure and humor in my complete and total honesty in being inadequate in so many ways - cause let's face it - it's funny.....and you all know I like funny!

I am also experiencing what any new mom does (as I have said before - though different, adoption is so similar to giving birth it is uncanny)  There will be a lot of new moments for me and for us as a family.  I am trying to figure out who this lil' being is, what she likes, what she doesn't like, what she is saying, and how to help my two children that were here before feel confident and loved.....sheesh - we got a little bit goin' on, huh?

With all that said, I want to make one thing very clear to all of us.....We didn't decide to adopt with the intention of being good people with a good heart saving a child.....we did it simply because we felt called by God to do so.....(and I am very open about the fact that I fought Him tooth and nail that He certainly didn't mean us - He meant the people down the street) but alas, He did mean us....

(if you need to read how hard I fought him click here.)

Our decision wasn't based on the fact that we wanted to save a child from poverty, disease, and life without a defender (although our hearts are and continue to be broken by that combined with how very much we have).....our decision was based on our call to serve God who clearly gives direction that we are all called in some way to care for the orphan and widow - this just happened to be our way of doing it.  I can tell you when I looked in her eyes I realized that we are the ones being blessed by her  - not the other way around......

Also, I didn't start a blog to pat myself on the back - in fact if you read it - I think I do more to destroy my reputation than anything.....We did it simply because I want you to see that adoption (although it does have moments of fear and extreme anxiety) isn't impossible for you if you are called.....My goal and desire is that you will see that if your heart is broken and you know that you are open to accepting a child into your home as your own - there is a way and you can do it.....you can.

It's not just for rich folk....in fact Eric and I often joke we are so vocal about it because we are the poorest people we know who did it (come on, I work part-time at a church)......funny, but true. I mean, come on, you see $35,000 and you instantly think - well, I'm out.  You don't have to be - trust, walk in faith and know there are countless ways to fund an adoption and you don't have to pay it all at once....it's a year long + process of payments.

It will cost you in ways that are sometimes more than financial - but that's okay - you won't get out of this without a scratch but trust me when I say - if you are doing God's will, don't you think He is bigger than a measly $35,000 or anything else that comes your way?

Anyway, I just want to make sure that you understand why I wanted and continue to want to blog about our journey.....I don't want it to be about us being great people....but how great our God is,  and how He brought a family together and made us complete in so many ways.

Finally you can look over to the bar on the right - under Adoption Stuff is information about our adoption, the agency we used, breakdown of costs, etc.....(our agency and our agency rep, Lesley Scott are FANTABULOUS! and I would recommend them a million times over).  

then there is a listing of other blogs that we read regularly - check them out - hear and learn from what others have to say......

Anyway, my point is pray about your role in orphan and widow care, talk to others, get educated about the process and the entire journey, examine your heart and then move in some way - it can making a small donation or purchasing something to help a family move forward (which SO many of you did for us).  It can be sponsoring a child. It can be advocating for them.  It doesn't have to be huge....although it can be.

Remember the weird part we talked about at the start of this...just a little more....
anytime you come back home from a third world country it takes a minute to get your bearings and your United States of America 'legs' back (I know this cause I have seen it in others too)......the only thing is you are not sure if you want those 'legs' back after you have seen how others live and realize how FAR removed we are from it - so please extend me a lil' grace right now, if you don't mind.  


I just have to clarify since I get a little sidetracked from time to time.....this post and all of the other posts that I have done is not about The Runner's saving this poor lil' girl....they are and will continue to be about how once your heart and mind have been opened, there is no way you can't share it, not because of who we are, but because of who He is.