Friday, September 23, 2011

my type of parenting

I'm sitting here doing my normal routine - hairbows.  My mind wanders.  I am thinking about Ethan and Reagan and in my mind a movie plays watching them grow.  Then I think about Maggie.....

Before I say too much about that, let me share something with you.  I am THAT mom.  I don't let my kids do things where I am not involved.  I don't want to miss things.  I want to be involved in everything that they do while I can.  I want them to know that I am ALWAYS there.  I don't let people take my kids places.  It isn't because I don't trust them.  It is because I want to be there.  I want to know and experience everything with my babies.  (Judge me if you want) 

Here is my every night (granted this is just a sample of the types of hairbows that I am making) 
Lately, I have felt like a bad friend to all the people that are special to me.  It isn't because I want to be or that I don't feel the connection with them anymore.  It is simply that I am busy being a mom, wife and making hairbows for the craft fair.  

As I am cutting the satin....I am overwhelmed with the fact that I am missing out on Maggie.....I never missed a moment with Ethan and Reagan.  It hurts me so deeply.  My coping mechanism is to stay as busy as possible.  If I don't sit still then I don't have to think about it.  (Yes, it may be a slight case of ADD too - but I can't get a doctor to confirm it).

Truth be told. My heart breaks.  It is hard to have your child on the other side of the world.  We haven't seen her picture or met her yet so that makes it easier, I guess.  But still everyday we pray for her.  Everyday we ask God to let her know that she is loved.  Her situation is temporary and soon she will have a person in her life that will be there (God willing) for everything even to the point where she doesn't want me to be. 

So, if I didn't get you a birthday present or I haven't called in awhile.  I am not wanting to fact once this craft fair is over I need you.  I gotta keep this ol' mind busy......


  1. are one day closer! Your baby is being watched over by God himself and HE loves her even more than you do, can you just imagine?! AMAZING!!! Your friends love you, understand and are impatient for your family. :) I want some of those bows for my sweet niece! Britney

  2. Fran, where do I begin...your friends and family understand and love you just the way you are. You wouldn't be Fran if you weren't pouring your heart into everything you do, bows and all :). We (your friends) are so very excited for the journey that your family is taking. We are blessed to have you as a friend. That sweet baby girl knows that you all are praying for her and patiently awaits your arrival to get her. Remember that God knit you together in your mothers womb and made you into the woman you are today..........He Love You Fran just the way you are. Your friends will be waiting to watch your little miricle arrive and will continue to love you just for who Fran is! :)