game changer

three kiddos has been a game changer for me.....

just this week a friend of mine made the statement that she had to run to Walmart.......I was envious and grateful that I could say, 'Hey can you pick me up a loaf of bread and some dry shampoo.'  Cause let's face it you all......I can't go to Walmart or any other store right now....well I can - but you don't want me to.....

I mean seriously, if you are in the store with me - you want me to leave.

This kid that has moved from the other side of the world, into a new family, a completely different life and  has adjusted like nothing I could have ever dreamed of.  I mean really - she is something special.

But it's hard...We have a three year old who is outgoing, who is spunky, who is funny and who loves people - what's so hard about that you might ask...

Well, how about a new being walked through our home doors - and well it isn't a baby that is just laying there who depends on you so the love builds because you simply meet his/her needs......No, this kid walked through the doors telling us what she did and did not like.....It was funny in Ethiopia......in America....stressful.

She is headstrong.  She is stubborn.  She is at times defiant.  Does she need those skills as she goes through life?  without a doubt.  Is it hard to parent?  Oh yeah, baby.

She hates our food.  She likes bananas and spaghetti. Everything else gets a look that says, 'you got to be kidding me.'

She will say no to most everything we ask her to do......but will then do it and surprise us with her openness to the whole situation.....

For example, the dentist.....our dentist just happens to be the most wonderful in the land.  We love Hedgespeth Dentistry!  Maggie had a special friend - (Hi Mia!) who was brave enough to go first in the ol' dental chair.  Mia did so good.....Maggie said 'NO!' the entire time and even shed a few tears and stuck out that bottom lip.......I was sweatin'.  I bowed my head and said a silent prayer that Dr. Lauren would not hate me by the time we left that office.......

Mia finished up, went with Maggie to the treasure chest and then WHIM-BAM-BOOM, before I know it Maggie is in the chair, has opened her alligator mouth and is not only getting her teeth counted and polished but also x-rays!  Who is this kid?

(Ethan came up to me when Maggie was in the chair and said (and I am quoting him here)  'I didn't see this going this good.'

We are getting to know each other and we are starting to really like each other (she may disagree at times).  Love is there.  Love was instant for Eric and I.  Liking takes a minute or two.....but we are getting there, I mean come on....look at this face, how could you not?

How you doin'?

Tell me you didn't just say that like Joey did in Friends?  I knew it - you totally did.  :)

I'm hearing that a lot lately, 'Fran, how are you doing?' of course it is said with concern cause apparently I look like el crapo.  :)  (Also, let me be clear - I am blessed to be surrounded by people who care that I look like crap and maybe a tad bit frazzled. So to those friends, thank you!)

This whole adoption thing has been filled with countless roller coaster rides to the top of the mountain then falling into what feels like a free fall then immediately back up.  Apparently I am beginning to show signs of wear and tear......

We are good.  We are very busy.  We are adjusting well.  To be honest and in the honor of 100% transparency.....It is hard, but not in a bad way.....just a getting to know you, trying to understand you, what the heck do you want kinda way.

Eric and I are both out of vacation time at our jobs....so I took just one extra week off after our arrival home.  He works an odd shift so I would go into my job earlier than normal and then come home right before he left for work.....two weeks of that schedule and a new kid in the house who didn't understand English - hated our food and who has a very strong personality was T-O-U-G-H.

But then Jesus reminded me that He does love me - He loves me enough to let school start back.....can I get a halleujah!  We had debated on whether sending Maggie to school would be a good idea or not....and well..let's just say momma needed her to go to school.  She is doing AMAZING!  She has an amazing teacher who she adores (thanks Ms.Kelly!).  She is now a pro at nap taking, she has already in one week learned a few more words and bed time is easy peasy now!  Ol' girl is WORE OUT!  See I told you Jesus loved me.  :)

Ethan and Reagan are as amazing as ever too. I mean seriously - I don't think it is possible to love those kids any more.  They set such an example of love.  I am inspired by their actions.

On a completely different note - I work at a church - the people that come together in that church are all together amazing!  I also work with some pretty fun characters.....For those of you that know Rodney Lynch  - you know what kind of characters I'm talking about here.....

Rodney has a love of kids that is kinda out of control.  I mean I have honestly seen this grown man roll on the floor playing with kids (if he didn't have the gray hair you might mistake him for a kid).  Well, he and our Maggie have quite a special relationship....in fact her second week here she put together her first sentence - what was it you might ask......

let's start with what it wasn't.....

It wasn't - I love mommy.
It wasn't - I love poppy.
It wasn't - I need to potty.
It wasn't - More water please.

Nope - none of those......

it was..

I WANT RODNEY!!!

I want a redo!!!!  Really, I want Rodney!  (there were witnesses - they heard it too)

Everyday she looks for him.  Everyday she talks about him.....She loves her some Rodney Lynch and well, when you see them together - you really can't help but smile.

Things I am learning....

Okay, we are working on Day 3 (that is counting full days in the good ol' USA) and I just gotta tell you about what we have learned so far.

1.  Don't wave and say 'bye-bye' repeatedly and then walk out the door - it will apparently bring out all kinds of anxiety and stress on a child who has actually had to experience parent loss.  
*so we are clear here - my mom came for a visit and we are using every chance to teach Maggie words and normal stuff.....so we fervently waved and said, 'bye-bye' as my mom was leaving - then Eric and I helped her to the car.....rookie mistake but it wasn't good.

2.  It is hard to figure out and balance - I love you.  I will be here.  We aren't going anywhere AND you have to obey household rules......
*I gotta know if there is a book for this....cause we are lost.

3.  Not being able to speak the language has A LOT of challenges - but it is kinda fun to watch - I mean we are like a constant game of charades.....hilarious!

4.  Sparkle is a universal color for girls.  If it sparkles girls want it - no matter where they are from.

5.  I'm not cut out to stay in the house with no outside communication......Full Day 1 - we went to Eric's parents house.....I need people!

6.  I love and miss my job!  (Kudos to those moms who stay at home - you are my hero!  Don't ever underestimate yourselves......Eric left for work at 1:00PM today and at 3:30 I looked at the calendar and said....'Oh no! It's just MONDAY!'

7.  NEVER underestimate the kindness of people.....if you watch the news and just sit long enough you can be overwhelmed with the cruelty of the world.......Don't buy it.  People are kind.  People will go to great lengths to show kindness.  People are generous.  This world has a lot more love than Dan Rather, Brian 'what's his face' and Katie Couric tell you about.  I promise.  I have seen it.  (Is Dan Rather still a news anchor?)

8.  I'm not as ill-equipped with her hair as I thought I would be, IF you forget about the incident that I had in the airport when we landed in the states......you still need to hear that story - don't you?......I promise next post.  :)

9.  When you add a new smaller kid to the mix - you realize how big the kids who were here first are....and it may throw you in a slight depression...complete with crying and an overwhelming sense of love.  That love is mixed with complete amazement that they are showing signs that you didn't screw them up.....they are good, real good.

10.  I should have done a better job of explaining to the two kids that were here first (and realizing myself) that Maggie hasn't really ever seen or experienced things that we don't think about.....like grocery stores for example.....putting Maggie in a shopping cart wasn't a good experience for her......she has never seen a store with lights much less to be pushed around in a big metal cart.....let's just say it didn't go well.....

So, though there have been moments in these three days of complete confusion, exhaustion and humor we are doing surprisingly well.  I'm trying to take lots of pics in order to get a book together that I will be sending to give to the Birth Mother - no, I wasn't able to have the opportunity to meet her which makes my heart break but I will be sending her a book of pics of our family and how Maggie Hilina is adjusting to her new home as soon as I can.

Thank you all for your continued prayers, your support and words of encouragement, it means so very much

thinkin'

We have all established the simple fact that I am a borderline weirdo, right?  Okay, forget the borderline.....I'm weird.  I know - you know it.

Good, now that we got that clarified.......

Let me start off by saying just how grateful I am to all of you who read this, who support us and who care about what is going on with the adoption process of lil' Maggie.  You have been amazing!  As you have heard me say a bazillion times - there are truly no words, I break down in tears more than I care to admit because of what you all have meant to us throughout this adoption process.

Now our real journey begins, life as a family of five.  I will continue to document some portion of our lives here and I hope that you find pleasure and humor in my complete and total honesty in being inadequate in so many ways - cause let's face it - it's funny.....and you all know I like funny!

I am also experiencing what any new mom does (as I have said before - though different, adoption is so similar to giving birth it is uncanny)  There will be a lot of new moments for me and for us as a family.  I am trying to figure out who this lil' being is, what she likes, what she doesn't like, what she is saying, and how to help my two children that were here before feel confident and loved.....sheesh - we got a little bit goin' on, huh?

With all that said, I want to make one thing very clear to all of us.....We didn't decide to adopt with the intention of being good people with a good heart saving a child.....we did it simply because we felt called by God to do so.....(and I am very open about the fact that I fought Him tooth and nail that He certainly didn't mean us - He meant the people down the street) but alas, He did mean us....

(if you need to read how hard I fought him click here.)

Our decision wasn't based on the fact that we wanted to save a child from poverty, disease, and life without a defender (although our hearts are and continue to be broken by that combined with how very much we have).....our decision was based on our call to serve God who clearly gives direction that we are all called in some way to care for the orphan and widow - this just happened to be our way of doing it.  I can tell you when I looked in her eyes I realized that we are the ones being blessed by her  - not the other way around......

Also, I didn't start a blog to pat myself on the back - in fact if you read it - I think I do more to destroy my reputation than anything.....We did it simply because I want you to see that adoption (although it does have moments of fear and extreme anxiety) isn't impossible for you if you are called.....My goal and desire is that you will see that if your heart is broken and you know that you are open to accepting a child into your home as your own - there is a way and you can do it.....you can.

It's not just for rich folk....in fact Eric and I often joke we are so vocal about it because we are the poorest people we know who did it (come on, I work part-time at a church)......funny, but true. I mean, come on, you see $35,000 and you instantly think - well, I'm out.  You don't have to be - trust, walk in faith and know there are countless ways to fund an adoption and you don't have to pay it all at once....it's a year long + process of payments.

It will cost you in ways that are sometimes more than financial - but that's okay - you won't get out of this without a scratch but trust me when I say - if you are doing God's will, don't you think He is bigger than a measly $35,000 or anything else that comes your way?

Anyway, I just want to make sure that you understand why I wanted and continue to want to blog about our journey.....I don't want it to be about us being great people....but how great our God is,  and how He brought a family together and made us complete in so many ways.

Finally you can look over to the bar on the right - under Adoption Stuff is information about our adoption, the agency we used, breakdown of costs, etc.....(our agency and our agency rep, Lesley Scott are FANTABULOUS! and I would recommend them a million times over).  

then there is a listing of other blogs that we read regularly - check them out - hear and learn from what others have to say......

Anyway, my point is pray about your role in orphan and widow care, talk to others, get educated about the process and the entire journey, examine your heart and then move in some way - it can making a small donation or purchasing something to help a family move forward (which SO many of you did for us).  It can be sponsoring a child. It can be advocating for them.  It doesn't have to be huge....although it can be.

Remember the weird part we talked about at the start of this...just a little more....
anytime you come back home from a third world country it takes a minute to get your bearings and your United States of America 'legs' back (I know this cause I have seen it in others too)......the only thing is you are not sure if you want those 'legs' back after you have seen how others live and realize how FAR removed we are from it - so please extend me a lil' grace right now, if you don't mind.  


I just have to clarify since I get a little sidetracked from time to time.....this post and all of the other posts that I have done is not about The Runner's saving this poor lil' girl....they are and will continue to be about how once your heart and mind have been opened, there is no way you can't share it, not because of who we are, but because of who He is.  

Our first night

The day has finally come and we had all of our babies in the same house........and let me tell me you, it was great.

Maggie (which we are now just calling her - believe it or not she answers better to it than she does Hilina) She did great!  On the 17.5 hour flight from Ethiopia - she slept most of the way and then when we landed in the US she was ready to go!  Girl, is a lil' firecracker.  She talks nonstop and I mean non-stop! If her eyes are open she is talking.


(For those of you at the airport - you didn't get this cause it was 1am her time and she hadn't slept all day - and then crashed on our last flight that was only an hour)


***Later I have to tell you about me darn near getting arrested in the DC airport with her.....funny now - not so funny then.  Don't worry it's fine, lesson learned though - don't try to wash a lil' girl's hair in the sink)  Story will come later....funny stuff!

When we got home she had enough time to wake up and played and played with the kids, it was such an awesome experience!  In fact I caught a glimpse of Reagan pinching herself.  I asked her why she was pinching herself and she said, 'I feel like this is a dream.'  We laughed, played, took a bath and went to bed.....this morning has been much of the same.  A LOT of talking, a lot of playing and a lot of laughing!  Maggie is surprisingly enjoying all of our food.....she keeps saying, 'More, please.' in the cutest Ethiopian voice you have ever heard.

here are a few pics!

We came home to a signs and balloons!  Thanks Whitney Family!
(warning these pics have not been edited and are FAR from perfect!)

I think this was the first time she had ever seen balloons.....she loves them - in fact as I type she is carrying them around jabbering like crazy!

here is a pic of them playing together and rea pinching herself....she is so funny!

And the best part of today was this......

all my babies under one roof!  We are blessed!  

a little PR for some of my fav peeps!

PS outfits where given to us from a friend, Mary Jo Mudd Nally aka The Gift Girl.  Like her on Facebook she has some of the cutest lil' outfits ever!  

PSS hairbow from Christy Newton aka Pink Polka Dot Boutique, in case you need a super cute hairbow!  

  

short and sweet

day two we went to the US Embassy (which is the whole reason we are here)  and waited for about ten minutes - and they say congratulations,, sign here......we do and whim-bam-boom it's final....she is ours even by US standards now!!!  Hooray!

The even better news - no car sickness for lil miss Maggie Hilina on the way to and fro!

Our girl is QUITE the talker....honest to goodness - she doesn't stop.  Ashu our driver laughed and talked to her the whole time.  He told us that she said she loved her family, she loves her mommy and poppy and that she is excited to have a brother and sister.  Also she is excited about coming to America - not so much as excited about taking a plane - she wants to take a big bus to America and can't seem to understand why that isn't possible...since the bus takes you where you need to go.

Here is the funniest part - she realizes that we currently have a communication barrier....she asked Ashu to tell us that she doesn't like rice and that she likes to drink Coke.....good try baby girl, but no.  Ashu laughed so hard when he told us she said that.....its so funny.

Today was a tad bit on the stressful/sad/heartbreaking/stomach hurting day for me.....we went to Birhan Orphanage here and we saw so many children.....this is a real orphanage and one that had kids that were waiting to be adopted....we walked into the room where all the kids where - they were watching a movie.....let me just say - it.broke.my.heart.

the older kids looked at us and as soon as someone looked at one of the toddlers there face went right back to watching tv......they knew they weren't even an option.......I feel confident in saying this because, I tried to take their picture - (the kids love to see themselves and I thought it might get them going)  they had no interest in me.....it was like a light was gone from their eyes.....broke me into pieces.

We are also traveling with a lady and her son (25) - he has a sweet soul (in a very masculine way - don't get mad at me MA)  and he had to walk away.....he just couldn't be in there....it was so tough....

so when we arrived back at the transition house I went out to paint the nannies and nurses fingernails just cause I thought that it could be something nice I do for them......they were so thankful and so excited to have them done.  Then all the kids wanted theirs too and it became a paint everyone's nails party....it was fun!

Then finally today we took a two hour (one way) trip to the Portuguese Bridge somewhere outside of Addis.....far out.....but we saw amazing things....very cool.  so now I'm exhausted and we are going to go to sleep.  Tomorrow is a big day!  We start the two day journey to bring our baby girl home!!!

Here are just a few pics from the last two days

Two more things....cool things we saw today
1.  baboons in the wild
2.  a dead real live cheetah looking thing......(they called it something else) but let me tell you that kitty cat was MEAN looking....even dead I wouldn't get near it.....

funny....I said I was gonna be short and you believed me....when will you all learn :)

miss you all  like crazy!  I can't wait to love on my babies and see you all soon!

just hanging out

It's day two....It's 3:11am EST and here it is 10:11am....I didn't quite realize the last time the complete different time zones we are in.....I want to call you all, I want to tell you everything about Maggie Hilina and about Ethiopia.  This place is so amazing!  I wish I could bottle the smell of our guest house - the cooking is so good (I know shocking, right?)......oh and the weather - I mean tshirt, hoodie and jeans.....it fantastic!  (sorry about you all back home with your 106 degrees with 100% humidity)

I can't wait for you to meet her!  I know I'm gushing but the girl has personality.  One of the couples here said it so well.....she has sassy in everything she does.....her walk, her talk and oh my goodness her facial expressions.  

One of the craziest things I have seen with these kiddos is the fact that they haven't forgotten us....some of the older kids that are still here remembered us (we Ky folks must leave quite an impression)  :)  and most importantly Maggie Hilina did not miss a beat with us.  

Today we took her outside to play with the kids and as soon as we stepped out in the back play area (it is where they kids stay) she pouted.  She pouted whenever the nurses and the nannies talked to her....she definitely wasn't going to have her picture taken with them.....She is so funny and so afraid we are going to leave her.  

We are getting ready to go to our Embassy appt at 1:00 Addis time which is 6 amEST.  So if you are one of my Kentucky peeps reading this - say a prayer.  I like to think it's all downhill from here but truly you just never know.  

I can't wait to show off some pics of Maggie Hilina in her Embassy outfit!  I mean this kid is gonna be cute!  She saw it and held it up to her and can't wait to put it on.  (there is so much mud here that I am afraid to let her put it on until it is time to load up the van.) Oh! another prayer request - they say that most all the kids get car sick real bad (most of them have never rode in a vehicle other than to transport them from the orphanage to here).  So pray that it doesn't happen.  I've got Dramine and peppermint oil to help prevent it - but really - I hate puke!  

I will post some pics later today.  For those of my friends that don't have facebook.....here are a few pics. 

Finally, I could never tell you all how much your love, friendship and support has meant to us.....you helped us along the way financially, you helped us emotionally, you covered us in prayer through this whole journey and even if I got on your nerves with my crazy eyes and pure moments of panic or if it was an emotional moment where I was overwhelmed - you were there....

I am tearing up just thinking about this journey and what you all have meant to our family.  I can't repay you and I'm just not eloquent enough to put it into words.....God has blessed us by you and I am eternally grateful.

Love,
eric and fran