Still in the middle of processing it all....

I am surrounded by amazing friends and family who want to hear all about our trip; to be honest, I have been so sick since landing on Wednesday night that I haven't felt very good.  It's not anything that I got from my trip....My body feels like it is in constant motion - I mean, I haven't flown since Wednesday and I am still taking Dramine......it's so weird.  I'm starting to feel better - thank goodness!

I am still processing it all and trying to figure out the best way to relay to you everything that I saw in a way that doesn't make me sound like a rambling, crazy, idiot....you know - not like the normal Fran.  I want to be very articulate.  :)

If you had the opportunity to talk to me prior to last Thursday......you had a laugh or two at my expense....I so want to be like, I was cool, I was good......but I wasn't.  Poor Mikila, Carol, Judy, Christy and Paula got the worst of it......I mean they kinda saw me in a new way....sheer panic and terror was a cloak that I was wearing (and I was wearing it WELL).  I felt like we needed a sign up on my desk that said,

'Please don't feed the crazy person.

Don't look at her.  

Don't smile and for the love of everything.....DON'T ASK HER HOW SHE IS DOING!'

I can't wait to share with you how God perfectly orchestrated my hind-end sitting on a plane on it's way across the world completely at ease.......I remember looking up and whispering....'That's impressive.'

It involved many angels that were sent and my friends who covered me in prayer.  (I'm telling you my church family is something BEYOND special) they not only bless me everyday, but they covered me in prayer and they are so, so amazing!

Seriously though, repeatedly we were reminded that this wasn't us doing it.....by far!  Many people appeared out of what seemed like no where to help us or to guide us or just to give us a little information about what they knew or had saw in Africa.

Then there was an instant of me being super stalker.....kinda awkward, but again God's funny.  There is a couple from Louisville adopting...I have read their blog a few times and Eric had met the hubby JT before we even started our adoption journey....Guess who I see in Washington's airport....yep the Hendersons!  They are returning from their first trip to meet their second son.  They have already adopted once from Ethiopia (so I consider them pros).

I think once they got over the shock of some random chick yelling their names in the airport - we became instant friends.  Not only are they wonderful and nice - but I truly believe they are the reason that I got on the plane (prior to that I was planning how I was gonna bolt).  (Again recall the moment where I reminded God (in case He forgot) that He was indeed impressive).

Then we landed in Ethiopia, drove to the Transition Guest House and met our daughter.  We literally set our bags down and this beautiful couple, Kerri and Anthony were there with their newest daughter (her story coming later) and they kindly let us know of what was going to happen.....here is how it went.

Kerri:  'They are going to bring your child in just a bit.'
Anthony:  'If you have a video camera or camera I will take pics for you.'

I immediately reached into my bag to give them all of the above and we turned around and there she was.....our precious new girl.  She was nervous at first (hands in her mouth).  The nanny let her know that we were her mama and daddy.  She smiled, gave me a shy hug and then it was on!  We began to play.  We played with a truck (none other than Tow Mater himself) - rolling it back and forth.

It has amazed me.  I know I have said it before but it is so similar to the same thing that I have gone through with my two biological children.  I was just as exhausted as I was the day  I met Ethan and Reagan and I was just as lost as what to do with them......but true to Runner form - we figured it out. We played dolls, we played kitchen, and we colored.  I knew instantly that this little girl was created to be a part of our family.  The love was overwhelming.

As I said in my earlier posts....we bonded easily, quickly and amazingly.  It was the one of my toughest balancing acts for Eric and I.....loving her, bonding with her but yet respecting that it will be hard for her to understand the moment we are gone.  I made the comment that white folk come in and out of this transition house all the time, once we are gone she will likely forget....Ms Bete, (OUR AMAZING tour guide and wife to the Director) told me very point blank...'they never forget their mommy and daddy.'

During our lil' time in Ethiopia - I saw more poverty than my heart could have dreamed.  I saw things that took my breath away.  I saw babies wondering the streets with no one to call mommy or daddy.......There are so many....I mean, so, so many.

So before I tell you more about my trip and this post becomes a short novel I will leave you with some pics.....

Ahhh, praise God for so many blessings....

Diet Coke is one  

the backyard to the transition home - 

clothes were washed and hung everyday.

They don't let it pile up like I do!  :)

the view from the play area 

view from our balcony

Just a few more of Hilina - cause come on!  this kid is cute! 

just some street shots

Just like home sweet home....someone's cow got out.

This man was carrying so many water cans tied perfectly together on 

his back.....they might not be heavy but it can't be easy going 

through all those people - (I thought a backpack in the airport was bad enough)

I will leave you with this for now.....again remember, I'm still processing it all.  

I don't think you can leave an area like this and not be completely affected and changed.....so I want to be thoughtful and respectful in every way in what I say....more to come.  

day two

Oh my goodness!  I wish I could tell you all everything in a few simple words but there is no way.......

We woke up early this morning (around 7am Ethiopian time - which is midnight in ol' Ky)  we showered, got dress and headed downstairs to just hang out and see what was going on.....

One thing about Ethiopia is the chanting....apparently this orphanage/transition home is right behind a mosque....though at first it was unique and an experience later turned into a non-stop annoyance....

We ate breakfast, then decided to walk around and true to Fran form take alot of pics of the building and just general surroundings.

About fifteen minutes some kids starting waking up and coming out of their room....We were playing with some of the kids and then came Maggie Hilina - she was honest to goodness running full force at us!  It was the sweetest thing.  We have really bonded so well together, it has been amazing!  We played with bubbles, played soccer (although some of the older boys were questioning our abilities).

It came time for us to go with Woudneh (who is our AMAZING guide and director of the transition home)  and Maggie melted down....heart-wrenching.  Woudneh is concerned that she is too attached....which I get cause we have to leave her for a few months and that is hard.....she has already suffered through loss and I don't want us to put a place in her heart of hurt - only love.  The items we have given her she carries around and won't share them with others (I think she is telling them - 'get your own' in Amharic)

So Woudneh took us an a few other adoptive families out to lunch at the Sheraton Hotel (totally Americanized) and then on a shopping trip (totally NOT Americanized) Let me say this.....I have never seen poor like this.  I mean NEVER!

We learned on our trip here that if a baby is abandoned and is over 2 years of age.....the police don't take them to an orphange because they are old enough to survive on their own..........OLD ENOUGH TO SURVIVE ON THEIR OWN! Their is a structured system to the street kids - it starts out if you are two years old - four year olds take care of you - six year olds take care of the four year olds, etc, etc.

There are no words for that.  To be honest - even though this is a super nice orphanage - I see it here.  There are few older boys and girls - I have seen them rush to the aid of a crying child, they dust them off, they talk to them, they hold them, they are the comforter......I almost lost it today while witnessing it.  A beautiful lil' girl was so excited to catch the bubbles we brought and were blowing with them that she stepped right off the lil step and fell.....instantly the 7 year old lil' boy named 'David' ran to her and sat with her consoling her.....'David' is so much older than his years. I've learned that he has been in orphan care for years and praise God will have a family soon.....

I've caught myself more than once thinking - I could bring them all home, fortunately the children here with us are blessed - they are waiting for their families to come and get them.

Today I witnessed the street kids - beautiful children - with nothing - covered in dirt, begging for anything at all.  We made the mistake of while in our car being surrounded by begging children to hand out some crackers - let's just say NEVER do that.  We learned a tough lesson today.  Nothing happened and we are fine - they are a very sweet and polite people - they are also very desperate people.  There were so many starving babies......I looked directly with a beautiful child who was so empty and so vacant it honestly broke my heart.

I know that I will be forever changed after this.  I knew that.  I wish I could tell you how much.  It's true that it is easy to ignore orphans until you know their name.....and over the past few days I have met so many children, learned their names, played with them and experienced their instant love.

Well, I have rambled enough for now........I am killing time - I was really hoping that we would get to see Hilina again, but they are eating dinner and in a few short minutes she will be going to bed for the night......(they really are worried about how quickly we have bonded and how she has attached)  Which is a good thing but I don't know if we can prepare our hearts for leaving......

Last thing - thank you for all the prayers - I have been at ease - really truly at ease since arriving. I truly have you all to thank for that.  This has been such a blessing....so much I don't even want to weasel my way out of the second trip - I am eager to have it done and us on our way home.  I will be able to share pics after Monday's court - please pray that all goes well and I don't say anything stupid....you know me the more nervous I am - the funnier I TRY to be (but fail miserably) :)

We made it!!!!

I'm going to be very short and sweet while we are here....

Thank you for all the prayers, my anxiety about being here has all eased since arriving.  Of course this is day one and I am going on just a nap within 24 hours.

Maggie Hilina is BEAUTIFUL and within a few short minutes of meeting us - we played, laughed and even got a hug and kiss!  She really is precious and has already brought us so much joy!  We are also blessed with an amazing family from Pittsburgh who took pictures and video of us meeting!  This is their second trip, so they kinda know the ropes and have shared so much with us already.

Maggie Hilina is in bed asleep already so we don't get to see her again until tomorrow morning.....

I CANNOT wait for you all to meet her!  I don't think she is going to miss a beat as a Runner.  She talks constantly (of course we have no idea what she is saying), she loves dresses, and sparkly things.

One more thing - her and Eric are super big pals, he went upstairs to our room and she was quite upset that he had left.  It's funny how you meet this lil' being from the other side of the world and instantly fall in love.  God is so, so good!

Again, I will update if possible.  Much love!  Thanks for all the prayers.  

good googly moogly!

Friday afternoon......I'm workin'...mindin' my business.....

phone rings.

Lesley Scott.....(our adoption rep).  'Hey, sit down' she says....

'Are we going to Ethiopia?' I ask...

'oh yeah, you are. How about next week.'

And so it started.....within two hours after our first conversation we had travel arrangements and tickets TO ETHIOPIA!!!!

Good googly moogly.....tonight has me researching the internet trying to find what to pack, what to do special for Ethan and Reagan, what to do special for Maggie Hilina......

My mind is in super-duper overdrive!

I can't seem to turn it off.

I mean we are going to meet our daughter! Seriously.....how do you do that?  What do I say?  What gifts do I take her?

I am wonderfully blessed to be surrounded by an amazing church family who have asked me - what can we do to help?  The only thing I know to do is to ask for you to pray.

Pray for a hedge of protection around the kids and us as we travel.
Pray for our family to have peace.  (trying to keep my anxiety in check)
Pray for my kiddos who other than a few overnight stays with grandparents - have never been without momma and daddy close.
Pray for some of my dear, dear friends who have volunteered to take on the challenge of adding two lil' ones to their home for the week.
Pray for Maggie Hilina to receive Eric and I in a positive way.
Pray for our health and safety.
Pray that we pass court with no problems and no delays.
Pray that we have internet service.

...The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16 ESV

Now on other note, I adore Ordinary Hero and saw this....thought I would share with you.

Kindness of strangers

Today was such an amazing day....it was a gift really....given to me by two, complete and perfect strangers.

I have some friends (shout out to Scott and Dwayne) from church who work with a nice gentleman (Keith) who with his wife (Lisa) are in the process of adopting two lil' babies from Ethiopia.  (Yes, you read that right....2 babies).  Dwayne has been on me forever about calling them......and in true Fran form.....I failed.

(PLEASE NOTE:  If I fail to return a call, call you, or reach out to you in some way....I'm not mean, it's not that I don't want to talk to you.....I have problems.  It's not you - it's me.)

Well during that time, Keith reached out to me to get permission to take pictures if the opportunity presented itself of our lil' Maggie Hilina.  I sent a big ol' OF COURSE to him immediately.  Two weeks later they were on their way to Ethiopia (in fact as I am writing this they are still there).

These two people whom I have never met have reached out to me, sent me emails and found our Maggie Hilina.  I MEAN THAT IS SO NICE!!!!  (seriously ya'all....they found the orphanage she is at, and took themselves, their two new babies, loaded up and spent 30 minutes with our baby, just so I could see her).  You don't get much nicer than that!

Today, while getting my hair did.....I received pictures of my newest baby girl.  She is so sweet.  One picture has her smiling, the sweetest smile!  One picture seems to reveal a little sassiness!  I love that!  I think Reagan and her are going to get along just fine.  Thus far every picture I have of her she is wearing a dress and jewelry of some form - again - her and Rea are gonna be A-OK!

Lisa, sent me an email via Facebook that I just received that gave me the size of clothes (3/4T) she was wearing and information like:

- she warmed up to them (i'm assuming fairly quickly since they only got to spend 30 minutes with her)

 - they gave her chocolate chips and she loved them!!!!  PRAISE THE LORD! This kid is going to make a great Runner!!!!  I am so excited!

My heart is bursting!  I'm telling you, I can even breathe easy at the thought of going all the way around the world to meet her and bring her home.  The first time I saw her picture with the referral - it was like the first ultrasound you have when you are pregnant.  Crazy, excitement, millions of thoughts buzzing through your head all while your mind is trying to wrap your brain around....'yep, that kid is gonna live with me.'

Today was the second ultrasound.......I'm calmer, I kinda know what to expect, I've established that this kid is gonna come home with me but I still have the same emotions of  'look at this......this is ours.  This is us.  This is our new family and it is good.  Very, very good.'  The best part is my worry seemed to vanish.  (I know it will return - that's how momma's are) BUT we are gonna make it as a family.  We are gonna be okay.    

That smile of hers.....let me tell you people.....that smile is going to melt a few more hearts, I just know it!

We met Maggie...well via picture that is

Okay....today was THE day and I mean seriously THE day.  I don't have any idea how we went from #6 to #1 in a matter of days....but it happened.

Labor is easy peasy compared to waiting for your husband to get to where you are at so that you can conference in your adoption agency and get the referral picture......

(Side note:  Praise God for my friends who may have witnessed a mental breakdown....I lose it from time to time)

We can't show her picture to you because of child laws and I will totally respect that (cause let's face it - this girl isn't cut out for prison)  but let me tell you....she is honestly BEAUTIFUL!  truly.  I know that for months that I have prayed that we would all see her through God's eyes and not our own...but come on!  the kid is beautiful!

So, here we are.  We now know her face.......and her birth name.....and her history (somewhat) and well here we are.,,overwhelmed, excited, scared and overjoyed with what our future holds.

My good pal, Carol Bartholomai found this while reading a book that she 'found' (in fact she said it literally jumped into her hands) from off of our pastor's shelf last week while cleaning.....This little excerpt is from a sermon from C.H. Spurgeon, titled, 'THE BELIEVER NOT AN ORPHAN'.  It kinda sums up some things......

"There is one point in which the orphan is often sorrowfully reminded of his orphanhood, namely,  in lacking a defender. It is so natural in a little child, when some big boys bully him, to cry, “I’ll tell my father!” How often did we use to say so, and how often have we heard from the little ones since, “I’ll tell Mother!” Sometimes, the not being able to do this is a much severer loss than we can guess.

Had the father been there, the child would have had its rights, scarcely would any have dared to infringe them. But, in the absence of the father, the orphan is eaten up like bread and the wicked of the earth devour his estate." 

It looks like from her records that Maggie's biological parents are deceased......praise God that she will not live life without a defender.  You better believe if some little snot nosed kid says something to my baby girl.....heads will roll.  Mama Bear will be there....

Well...it's that time

I guess you want to know, right?

well...before I give our number away... I wanted to share something I just read with you.  I don't have lots of free time to read blogs and just play on the internet.....but tonight, I sat down to Jen Hatmaker (thanks Tammi for the link) and well...it really is greatness.  If you want to check out her blog just click 'here'

Here is something I took from a blog post she has:

As for me, I’m going to move with the movers.
When it is all said and done, when my grandchildren read about Joseph Kony and eleven-year-old sex slaves in Haiti and children sleeping on the streets in Ethiopia and foster kids in their fifteen home, and they say, “What did you do about all these tragedies?”
I am not going to say, “Well, I didn’t want to be labeled a white supremacist, so I wrote mean blogs about folks who threw their hat in the ring.”
I am not going to say, “It was complicated. So I didn’t do anything.”
I am not going to say, “People were extremely critical back then. It was PR suicide to engage difficult issues. I remained troubled but silent on the sidelines. I cared in my mind.”
I am not going to say, “I researched and debated and read a lot of books and articles. I was very, very informed. Believe me, I understood the issues. I waxed very poetic about it all.”
I hope to say, “I joined the fight, because justice denied anywhere means justice denied everywhere. I jumped in, imperfectly, even though I knew critics would come out of the woodwork, questioning my motives and methods and ignorance and intentions. I decided to use my voice and my resources, because that could be my daughter and my sister and my community. That mother is me. Those children are you. I didn’t get it perfectly right. I couldn't address it all. I couldn't even address the entire scope of one problem. I didn’t change the whole world. But I moved.”
May we not move foolishly.
Or arrogantly.
Or rashly.
Or naively.
But may we move.

amen sista!

So my sweet, dear friends.....may you move.  I can't say how you should move or what you should do- that is between you and our Lord.....but you CAN do something.  

May I be blunt with you for a moment?  I grew up in Holy Cross, Ky.  Never heard of it, huh?  I'm not surprised.  It's no man's land...literally.  If you know me - then you know how incredibly inept I am in most things.  It took a lot of prayer and A LOT of faith to get off my tushy and move....but I am moving.

I am still scared....REALLY scared, but I am more scared to spend the rest of my days conforming to this world......the expectations of what I should have (i.e. living a life full of more consumerism versus depriving myself of things (vacations, nice purses or shoes, etc) to bring a child into our home.  

I am a people pleaser - I don't want to upset anyone or put a little ripple in the water....seriously....it pains me to do it.....but for Maggie, Ethan and Reagan - I will. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.

I will defend my children.  I will love my children.  I will provide food, clothes and shelter.  I will bring Maggie into our home - a child that has no biological, cultural or any other kind of connection with me (us)...not because of who I am but because of who our God is.  Some people still don't understand...I don't either to be honest.  I do know I have changed and my life has changed and though it is not required from me....i want to be a living example.  

This Easter Season I am reminded at my core that God sent His Son for me.  This man without sin bore mine and yours so that we may have everlasting life.  Who am I to say this world is more, stuff means more or that my comfort means more...

I can't do that.  

My heart hurts because I have a child that is out there waiting for me...waiting for parents and a family. Soon we will be blessed with our girl.  

Thanks for everyone that has kept us in prayer.  Thanks for your love and support.  

We are now #6.  :)  

Last but not least a video...

Thanks Dwan for the video!