Before I say too much about that, let me share something with you. I am THAT mom. I don't let my kids do things where I am not involved. I don't want to miss things. I want to be involved in everything that they do while I can. I want them to know that I am ALWAYS there. I don't let people take my kids places. It isn't because I don't trust them. It is because I want to be there. I want to know and experience everything with my babies. (Judge me if you want)
Here is my every night (granted this is just a sample of the types of hairbows that I am making)
Lately, I have felt like a bad friend to all the people that are special to me. It isn't because I want to be or that I don't feel the connection with them anymore. It is simply that I am busy being a mom, wife and making hairbows for the craft fair.
As I am cutting the satin....I am overwhelmed with the fact that I am missing out on Maggie.....I never missed a moment with Ethan and Reagan. It hurts me so deeply. My coping mechanism is to stay as busy as possible. If I don't sit still then I don't have to think about it. (Yes, it may be a slight case of ADD too - but I can't get a doctor to confirm it).
Truth be told. My heart breaks. It is hard to have your child on the other side of the world. We haven't seen her picture or met her yet so that makes it easier, I guess. But still everyday we pray for her. Everyday we ask God to let her know that she is loved. Her situation is temporary and soon she will have a person in her life that will be there (God willing) for everything even to the point where she doesn't want me to be.
So, if I didn't get you a birthday present or I haven't called in awhile. I am not wanting to disconnect....in fact once this craft fair is over I need you. I gotta keep this ol' mind busy......
